Riyadh, Saudi Arabia – On Sunday evening as the Trump delegation left Saudi Arabia for Israel, White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon reportedly requested the convoy to abruptly pull over at a nearby mosque. Much to the confusion of the entire staff, a frustrated Bannon then pulled out a can of spray paint from his attaché, draped him self in a beige hoody and quickly made his way toward the mosque.
The former Breitbart executive painted the words: “Muzlims go home!” before scurrying back to his limo, and prompting the driver to “go, go, GO!” as banjo getaway music blared through the speakers.
As the limo screeched away from the mob of angry locals stampeding toward them, a shocked Rex Tillerson asked Bannon about what he just witnessed.
“I asked him, ‘what did you do?!?’” recalled the U.S. Secretary of State. “Steve just responded ‘What I should have done when I got here – told them all to go home!’”
“I remember thinking it didn’t make any sense… aren’t they already home?!?”
As the scandal unfolded, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, issued the following statement on Monday morning during a scheduled press conference:
“What the Chief Strategist clearly meant to say is that those Muslims should go more home, even more than they were currently at the time. Like if you’re in the front of your home, you should move to the center. Look it’s not a bad thing to go home since that’s where your bed and toothbrush is. Who doesn’t like a bed? Some people don’t have beds. I’m sure if you were a mosque attendee you would feel good about it. I would. And that’s all I’m going to say about this.”
The Press Secretary then pretended to be a White House statue to avoid any further questions.
As the President’s team arrives in Tel Aviv, a spokesperson assures Israel they will keep Bannon clear of any Synagogues.