Muslim Man Can’t Discuss Playboy Controversy Without Getting Aroused "A part of me is psyched that we're shattering stereotypes, but then another part of me can't fight the distraction."

375
Graduate student Saleem Ali's outright enthusiasm about Muslim social progress can only be hampered by his subconscious.

Nervous Perspective – The following is a perspective piece written by Saleem Ali whose views and opinions are his own and do not reflect the viewpoints of Islamica News.

Hey guys, it’s me Saleem Ali — the shy, twenty-something, post graduate student passionate about social issues and still battling acne.

Now I know there’s a lot of controversy around this hijabi girl featured in Playboy and the way people are talking about it, you’d think it’s just a centerfold or something. But trust me – Playboy has made strides to clean up their content. I should know, i’ve been a subscriber for almost a decade…

And therein lies the rub.

A part of me is psyched that we’re shattering stereotypes, but then another part of me can’t fight the distraction.

I’m so excited that we’re breaking new grounds and advancing ourselves as an important segment in the broader social fabric. I’m roused by the coming together of ideas and identity – stimulated by the engaging and intellectual perspectives that enable growth and expansion. MY ENTHUSIASM WITNESSING THE CONVERGENCE OF MUSLIM IDENTITY WITH PLAYBOY CAN ONLY BE HAMPERED BY – ope there it is.

Just the mere utterance of the word ‘Playboy’ from my lips invokes a subconscious, primal version of me yearning for what the magazine used to be. The objectified images of women burned into my brain, replaying over and over in my head like some mental projector flipping through a never-ending reel of nostalgic film. The whole experience sends signals through my body eliciting an uncontrollable and extrusive reflex… Translation: I get a boner.

And it SUCKS!

You know how frustrating it can get when you’re trying to get everyone enthusiastic for social progress, and all of a sudden you have to switch to talking about baseball? I mean there’s only so many times you can tell everyone, “Hey check out my right angle impersonation” while bent over and running out the door to the restroom. I can’t tell you how many times I had to cover my frontal area with a stack of magazines which backfires because they invariably turn out to be my old copies of Playboy!

Anyhow, the point I’m trying to make after all of this is that I want to impart my wisdom and participate in the discourse around this controversy — but just give me time. Give me lots and lots of time… or at least a couple of minutes. I’ll be there.

Comments