Study: Scientist Discover Creature Inside Humans That Sucks Pants In Through Butthole During Prayer New research reverses widely accepted 'inverted farts' theory

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Scientist believe they have found an organism that sucks pants into the body via several orfices during prayer.

Houston, TX – A group of researchers at Houston’s South Texas Medical Center revealed the preliminary results of a on an ongoing study conducted earlier this year.

Scientist claim that one out of five men studied have a dormant organism that resides toward the lower portion of the large intestine. They have given it the working name, ‘Kiko.’

Dr. Alan Howard, Director of Research Studies at STMC, said ‘Kiko’ activates itself at specific times of day, or during activities such as prayer. Once active, it begins to suck underwear and pants into the body cavity via the anus, creating a wedge-like appearance for its hosts.

“We’ve found that the Kiko is most active during prayer, as it begins to suck garments into the body via the butt (hole),” said Howard as he showed file photos to a room full of members from the local medical community.

“In some cases, we’ve found the suction to be incredibly strong.”

Researchers were prompted to conduct the study after reports that many men were praying with ‘wedgees’ at the local Islamic center.

While there is no cure for the Kiko, officials say they can reduce the appearance of the ‘wedge’ by wearing looser garments including longer shirts and middle eastern style gowns (thobe).

A recent round of funding for the study has been approved, and research will continue through the end of the year.

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