VAVA, VA – Paramedics were on the scene at a local Virginia masjid after county officials received numerous calls of injuries and nausea.
Imam Spidi Arbi reportedly lead the noon congregational prayer at a breakneck pace. The record-setting speed led many worshippers to experience dizziness, whiplash and three reported concussions during sujood (prostration).
“He reads too damn fast. It was a matter of time,” stated one victim while rubbing his neck. “Next time I see this guy leading, I’ll wait 30 seconds until he’s done and pray on my own.”
No charges have been filed at this time.