Speedy Imam Leaves Everyones Head Spinning Reports of Numerous Injuries

One man remarked it was the, "Worst minute of [his] life."

VAVA, VA – Paramedics were on the scene at a local Virginia masjid after county officials received numerous calls of injuries and nausea.

Imam Spidi Arbi reportedly lead the noon congregational prayer at a breakneck pace. The record-setting speed led many worshippers to experience dizziness, whiplash and three reported concussions during sujood (prostration).

“He reads too damn fast. It was a matter of time,” stated one victim while rubbing his neck. “Next time I see this guy leading, I’ll wait 30 seconds until he’s done and pray on my own.”

No charges have been filed at this time.

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