In Other News
Biden: “We Must Condemn The Evil Forces of Terror, Except When It’s Israeli Sanctioned...
On Tuesday, President Joe Biden issued a forceful condemnation against Hamas and its attacks against the Israeli people. Below is the transcript of that statement.
“We strongly condemn these acts of violence, and the massacre...
“Happy Pakistan Independence Day!” Says Man Who Got The Hell Out of There 40...
"Happy Pakistan Independence Day!!!” exclaimed Khalid Ibrahim, who got the hell out of that country over 40 years ago.
“I will always have pride in my beautiful Pakistan,” said the 72 year old retired engineer...
“Don’t Believe Their Lies! I’m Still On The Air…” Says Tucker Carlson Talking Through...
"The fake news media would have you believe i've been taken off the air. But if that were true, how come I'm here speaking to you live on this fancy contraption?" said Tucker Carlson...
Qatar Awards Messi With Country’s Most Prestigious Hand Bidet
After a spectacular World Cup finals match, Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani awarded Argentina’s Lionel Messi Qatar’s highest and most prestigious award: a hand-held bidet.
“Today, we bestow on you a deep piece of...
Company Issues Recall On Ultra-High Powered Muslim Shower
Halalco issued a massive recall on their 15,000 PSI, Ultra-High Powered Muslim Shower - the industrial-grade, handheld bidet many Muslims use to rinse their nether-regions as prescribed by their faith. This, after a number...
Halalco Introduces Prayer Crossing Gate
In response to a spike in prayer related accidents and sujood lane violations, Halalco revealed a first-of-its-kind Prayer Crossing gate.
According to the Salat Safety Council (SSC), when used properly the gates are expected to...
Social Media Erupts After Little Mermaid Makes Appearance In Burqa
A theatrical trailer for The Little Mermaid triggered backlash after the movie’s main character, Ariel, appeared to be covered head to toe in what appeared to be a burqa.
Some welcomed the more inclusive take...
British Queen Colonizes Grave
On Thursday the British Empire announced it had conquered a territory measuring three and a half feet wide, eight feet long, and six feet deep.
Follow Islamica News on instagram, and long live the...
MBS Assumes His Place As Rightful Heir To British Throne
On Thursday, Prince Muhammad bin Salman of the Saudi royal family assumed his position as the King of England after the passing of Queen Elizabeth II earlier in the day.
MBS removed Charles, Prince of...
“Hey America, We killed some scary brown guy over there!”
“Hey America! We just killed another scary brown guy over there. He had one of them big, scary beards with a big black turban. His name was Abu Aba Bubbalicious Gum. Caught him hiding...
