In Other News
British Queen Colonizes Grave
On Thursday the British Empire announced it had conquered a territory measuring three and a half feet wide, eight feet long, and six feet deep.
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MBS Assumes His Place As Rightful Heir To British Throne
On Thursday, Prince Muhammad bin Salman of the Saudi royal family assumed his position as the King of England after the passing of Queen Elizabeth II earlier in the day.
MBS removed Charles, Prince of...
“Hey America, We killed some scary brown guy over there!”
“Hey America! We just killed another scary brown guy over there. He had one of them big, scary beards with a big black turban. His name was Abu Aba Bubbalicious Gum. Caught him hiding...
Supreme Court Rules Imam Can Recite Entire Surah Baqara In First Rakah On High...
The Supreme Court of the United States dealt a 6-3 win for a Washington state Imam, allowing him to recite the longest chapter of the Quran in the first rakah during congregational prayer on...
Muslim Man Forgets He’s Fasting, Accidentally Eats Entire Ham Sandwich
On Monday, 28 year old Ali Faruq forgot he was fasting and robotically devoured an entire ham and cheese sandwich positioned on a plate in front of him.
During the month of Ramadan, Muslims...
New Mosque Still Looks Like Old McDonald’s
A new mosque on the city’s north side still looks like the old McDonald’s it used to be. Members from the Islamic Society of Northern Chicago acquired the 40 year old building and made...
Feeling Festive, Mosque Attendees Perform Christmas Ghusuls
Feeling the holiday spirit, attendees of a Dallas area mosque gathered in the building's restroom stalls to perform ghusul-renditions of popular Christmas carols.
The improvised, all-male quartet represented a wide range of deep and...
Islamica News Asks: As a Muslim-American, do you celebrate Christmas?
For many Americans, the holidays can be a beautiful time of year. For others, it can be rather awkward. Islamica News asks 5 Muslim-Americans if they celebrate Christmas. Swipe through to read what they...
Mosque Investigation Reveals All 5,000 Congregants Really Secret FBI Informants Trying To Entrap Each...
An internal investigation into a Ohio area mosque revealed that all 5,043 attendees were working diligently as FBI informants seeking to incriminate one another.
Mosque officials conducted a full readout of the results from...
Halal Steak Had Very Haram Past
The results from a background check of a halal steak recently served at a Chicago area restaurant showed the animal led a demonstrably haram life.
The 18 month old bull named “Beevs” (now a 1...
