In Other News
Halal Steak Had Very Haram Past
The results from a background check of a halal steak recently served at a Chicago area restaurant showed the animal led a demonstrably haram life.
The 18 month old bull named “Beevs” (now a 1...
Imam Giving Friday Sermon Clearly Has Side Gig As Mall Santa
On Friday, worshippers at a north side Chicago mosque observed Imam Hasan Takloz give a passionate sermon while peculiarly dressed liked St. Nick.
For 30 minutes, Takloz admonished his congregation to maintain their Islamic identity...
Bored Moon Sighting Committee Declares Eid For The Hell of It
Bored out of their minds, an area moon sighting committee decided to declare a random, never-heard-before Eid just for the hell of it.
The all male, veteran team of 6 struggled to find ways to...
Before Leaving Washington, Trump Turns Around And Shouts “Allah-U-Akbar!”
Seconds before Marine One lifted him away from White House grounds, Trump turned around and stunned observers as he shouted, “Allah-hu-Akbar!”
“It was bizarre,” described journalist Millie Andrews.
“He stopped for a second, turned around, and...
Mysterious Toyota Camry Monolith Appears in Mosque Parking Lot, Blocks Traffic
Sugarland, TX - A mysterious Toyota Camry monolith appeared in a Houston area mosque parking lot during Friday prayers, blocking in other attendees as they tried to get back to work.Late arriving worshippers were...
Indian Man With Paan-Stained Mouth, Scary Teeth, Wearing A Sherwani Explains To Neighborhood Kids...
A suburban Indian-American man spent 10 minutes at his door trying to explain to neighborhood trick-or-treaters that he isn’t Count Dracula. 39 year old Syed Hussain opened the door to children wearing a sherwani,...
Provocative French Cartoonist Disappointed His Drawing of Prophet Muhammad Resulted in Only One Beheading
The following is an opinion piece by French cartoonist and provocateur Jacques Moulin, and does not represent the viewpoints of Islamica News.
Bonjour! It is moi, your favorite Frenchman and rabble rouser, Jacques Moulin. This...
Overdramatic Mu’azzin Really Rippin’ Into Those Hyalalfalahs
On Friday, congregants at the Meadows Islamic Center were subjected to an 11 minute, animated version of the call to prayer by fellow mosque attendee and Theatre major Hasan Khan. Khan enthusiastically filled-in as...
Man Who Coined The Terms ‘Libtard,’ ‘Snowflake’ Dies From Covid-19
An Arkansas man recognized for his invaluable contributions to the conservative lexicon widely adopted by Trump supporters and internet trolls, passed away from Covid-19 earlier today.
John "Dusty" McPhilips came up with popular conservative terms...
Man Activates Emergency Bread Ration Plan as Saalan to Roti Ratio Reaches 10:1
Skokie, IL - Panic ensued as Zeeshan Rizvi invoked an emergency bread ration plan when he noticed he was down to his last sliver of chapati while dealing with a plateful of daal and...
