PEORIA, IL – In a shocking news conference held earlier today, 35 Year-old Hyderbadi Sunni Muslim Vali Ghous announced that he is now “ready to be settled down” and has plans to begin searching for a wife.
“I feel it is time now for me to get married. I have good job working in engineering plant, my family is settled, all 14 of my younger brothers are married, and we even married off my ugly sister. Boy do I feel sorry for her husband. She looks like my daddy,” explained Ghous.
Elaborating on details as to what exactly he is seeking in a potential mate, Ghous explained that he is in search of a very special woman that meets his strict requirements of religiousness, morality, kindness and being slim & fair-skinned as well as Hyderbadi.
“She’s gotta be one hot mama,” exclaimed Ghous, “I mean, she’s gotta be a real looker. I would like for her to be religious and know about Islam or something like that. But that is the other thing…she’s gotta be really good looking!”
When asked by a reporter if he was afraid his search could be perceived as stereotypical and narrow-minded, Ghous replied, “Hey, I’m not looking to break any stereotypes, man” and reiterated that “she’s gotta be one hot mama.”
Towards the end of the two-minute press conference, Ghous unveiled a sketch of his ‘ideal woman’ which he assembled with the aid of a local-area police sketch artist.
“If I could find one that looked like that and could cook and clean…man! I would be in the heaven!”
