DETROIT, MI – Tensions are running high in the motor city as bulldozers, escorted by West Israeli military demolished an entire Dearborn neighborhood during a street festival. This is the latest in a series of illegal expansions by West Israel into cities and towns in and around Detroit, many of which have been ignored by mainstream media and the US government.
Originally settling into Detroit neighborhoods in the 1970’s, Israeli immigrants quickly established an autonomous colony and declared their own state of “West Israel”.
“At the time, the wheels were falling off and nobody cared to notice,” stated Former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. “A few did and they were branded anti-Semitic. I’m surprised the feds didn’t say anything but I’m sure they feared backlash from, ummm, is it East Israel now?”
West Israeli settlers continued expanding their domain through aggressive battles, including a brutal 8-day siege in which they annexed the enclave of Highland Park, resulting in countless civilian casualties.
The latest expansion into the Muslim-dominated city of Dearborn has given many residents flashbacks.
“They can’t pull this crap again,” stated Palestinian immigrant Anwar Hadawi. “Doesn’t anyone see what’s happening? We should’ve moved to Chicago.”
To defend against the invasion, Dearborn residents banded together to form the Dearborn Liberation Organization, or DLO. The DLO, however, was quickly labeled a “domestic terrorist group” by the Department of Homeland Security and many of its leaders arrested.
The White House chimed in as President Obama recently reiterated the West Israeli’s “have a right to defend themselves” and pledged an additional $300 million in federal funding to support their efforts.
“We’re the chosen people and today, we choose Dearborn,” stated West Israeli Prime Minister Billy Netanyahu, younger brother of East Israeli PM Benjamin. “The DLO is hiding in Dearborn. We won’t stop until they stop attacking us, give up their homes and are otherwise generally dead.”
Netanyahu added, “West Israel reserves the right to defend itself into additional territories beyond that.”