NEW YORK, NY – At a press conference this morning, half-equine Islamophobe Ann Coulter reminded major media outlets of her unfortunate, continued existence.
“I’m still here and I continue my hatred of Muslims, too,” stated Coulter, who clearly has an Adams apple. “I just berated the 7-11 clerk while getting my morning coffee. Why is Pam getting all the love, you guys?!”
“I’m thinking of hosting a ‘Punch an Arab’ day. Would that make you love me again?” she asked reporters as her voice quivered.
Coulter joins a chorus of Islamophobes increasingly miffed that Pamela Gellar is robbing them of the spotlight.
“It used to be that you could walk up to your local FOX News affiliate and shout anything crazy about Muslims to get a little air time,” stated religious studies expert Reza Aslan. “Now, the conservative media is focusing on quality, screening for the most lunatic fringes of xenophobic paranoia.”
Noted Islamophobe Ayaan Hirsi Ali recently stated she believes, “Gella needs ta go to da back o’da line right quick,” adding she feels her book sales are being affected by Gellar’s recent hate-fueled events.
“Da Gella…she bad news. Oy, da devil in dose eyes, mon” stated Ali, who recently converted to the Rastafarian faith as an attempt to remain relevant and in the press headlines.
“Methinks I be needin’ anotha convertin to keep da reporta mon lookin’ dis way, yessa!”