NORTH HOLLYWOOD, CA – Earlier today, Muslims around the world celebrated the annual Eid ul-Fitr Prayer gala. The fashion show was underway during the second and third prayers services.
“The first prayer service at 8am is more of a pre-show. Nobody takes fashion seriously that early,” remarked 18 Year Old Matheen Baig. “The fashionistas come to play at the 9am and 10am services and goodness, they did not disappoint. The shoe bags alone are to die for.”
Worshippers were dazzled by an array of East-West fashion fusion as sisters/models donned a variety of halfjabs and suits encrusted in mirrors, precious metals and various other fragments never meant to be attached to cloth.
“I love the show. I had this Is’haq Mirzahi suit imported six months ago for this day and I am rocking it,” noted one fierce sister. “I’m glad they told the paparazzi to lower their gaze but they still took too many pictures of my toes and ankles.”
Not everyone, however, is a fan of the spectacle. Some noted the styles on display would make Oscar De La Renta vomit in his grave. Others had genuine safety concerns.
“It’s really quite dangerous,” noted one onlooker. “One young lady was wearing a suit so overly embroidered it looked like some kind of mirror armor. It must’ve weighed more than her. I saw her falling over constantly.”
Another young lady wearing a crispy, over-starched outfit was asked to leave the prayer service due to being an apparent fire hazard.
Even 38-Year Old Abdul Kazi got in on the act, attempting to bring the wool summer sweater back in style. When asked about it he clarified he was, in fact, shirtless.
“This is too much,” noted one older, grumpier onlooker. “I get you’re supposed to be dressed nicely and all, but did they need to blast Right Said Fred and RuPaul as we’re leaving a place of worship?”
The fashion show came to an abrupt halt when the makeshift catwalk collapsed after being struck by a minivan hastily maneuvering the parking lot, injuring dozens.
At press time, the latecomer who was driving the minivan was clamoring for a fourth jama’at.