New York, NY – A moment of chaos, bewilderment and injury ensued near Central Park yesterday, as Rabia “Mipster” Ali rode her skateboard directly into a group of dancing Muslims filming a viral-variant of Pharrell’s “Happy” video.
The accident happened shortly after 3 PM at the “Angels of the Water Fountain” near Bethesda Terrace.
Ali admitted that she is not very good at skateboarding.
“All I can really do is stand on a skateboard for like 12 seconds. I need someone to push me,” said the 22-year-old as she tried popping her knee back in place.
Ehthesham Haque suffered a head and neck injury in the collision. The “Happy” video participant angrily recollected, “I turned around and I saw this girl screaming to get out of the way. I think she was wearing skinny jeans and high-heels. Who the hell wears heels on a skateboard?!? “
Married couple Maryam and Rashid Abdullah were stretching-out and waiting for their turn in the video when they heard a crash and a tirade of expletives.
“Everyone was in such a great mood, dancing and smiling,” recounted Maryam Abdullah. “All of a sudden, I heard a loud crash and then a long list of expletives from Brother Ehthesham. I mean I didn’t know phrases like that existed.”
Opinionated witness Dawoud Jackson said that this was part of a cosmic plan to punish the participants for their lewd behavior.
“God is punishing you for your attempts to assimilate!” shouted an irritated Jackson. “If you want to dance like monkeys, keep it in the sister’s section of your house!”
Plans to film additional footage for the “Happy” video have been suspended. However, Rabia Ali said the Mipsterz video will still be shot and produced with her in a wheelchair (and heels).
Several victims suffered injuries, of which five are hospitalized in critical, but stable condition.
Pharrell was unavailable for comment.
