The results from a background check of a halal steak recently served at a Chicago area restaurant showed the animal led a demonstrably haram life.
The 18 month old bull named “Beevs” (now a 1 LB. New York Prime Strip amongst other cuts), spent much of his adult life at Creekwater Ranch taking part in drug-fueled parties, casual cattle orgies, and habitual gambling.Once considered the go-to herd sire by cattle farmers, Beevs took a precipitous fall from grace, and often showed up to work too drunk to breed.
“While the halal authenticity of this steak isn’t in question, the irony of its lifestyle is not lost on us,” wrote Inspector General Waleed Ali of the Halal Council of America.
Details from the report uncovered other disturbing finds.
“We were shocked to discover Beevs was in possession of a high interest-rate credit card, and often engaged in the wrong kind of marshmallows.”
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