SUNNYVALE, CA – In a move many saw coming, Daiyan Hakeem – a self-proclaimed member of the Islamic State of the Bay Area Region (ISOBAR) expressed disgust at numerous recent changes in his Yahoo fantasy football league.
“We’ve been playing with two flex positions for the past five years, now we have three?! What kind of crap is that,” lamented Hakeem. “And don’t get me started on the draft time being changed at the last-minute. I had to scramble to rearrange my whole damn schedule to make it this year.”
He went on to explain that he feels “shafted” over the changes and feels his team consists of “absolute [crap] players”, vowing to “see you guys next year, I’m out.”
In a league post entitled “Good riddance to Daiyan Downer,” many members expressed joy Hakeem chose to exit and cited his “short fuse” and numerous complaints as a constant distraction.
“I knew it was a mistake inviting that Wahhabi, pseudo-Salafi wannabe,” stated one member. “Maybe now we can joke around without worrying about amateur sharia hour commenting on everything.”
Upon reading this Hakeem, who is still technically a member of the league, followed up with a post stating his desire to “behead the commish” and “murder every single one” of his fellow league mates.