CHICAGO, IL – Boring the crowd for an estimated three hours, the entertainment night at a local-area Islamic convention consisted, yet again, of nothing but rap acts and the videos designed to teach Islam to children in the 2-3 year-old range.
Festivities started out rather lively with guest speaker Hakeem Olajuwan giving a speech about life, basketball and Islam but conditions deteriorated rather quickly once Olajuwon left the stage.
Crowd onlookers were subjected to a battery of 3 back-to-back episodes of ‘Adams World’ followed by various Islamic rap acts and ending with the debut of Astrolabe’s new show entitled “Tele-Arabees.”
Originality was sorely lacking as most rap acts looked and sounded like reruns of music videos from the early 90s. Artists performances included sets by L.L. Khool J, DJ Jazzy Jaleel and Fresh Prince of Morocco, and Queen Latifah.
One artist in particular, named Br. Yoyo Boyyuddin, sounded as though his act was completely unrehearsed and made up spur-of-the-moment.
Aside from the fact that none of Boyyuddin’s lyrics rhymed, he was heard spewing out pathetic lyrics such as “Daddy wakes me up in the morning to pray Fajr. Then I go to sleep. Then I wake up again to pray Isha and wash the dishas” and “I hate it when I forget my lyrics sheet at home, but that’s alright, cuz I can make up dope lyrics without my sheet…naw you ain’t booin’…naw you aint booin”.
Boyyuddin set a new record when he managed to lull half the crowd to sleep in under 3 minutes while the other half of the crowd decided to start voicing their anger and hostility. Shouts of “You suck!” and “Jordan’s Over!” drowned out most of Boyyuddin’s lyrics.
Boyyuddin, however, was unaffected and reacted just as angrily when he began shouting, “Shake it. Bake it. Assalaamualaik It. Y’all think y’all got wudu but I think I’ll break it.”
Immediately following this line, witnesses cliaim that Boyyuddin screamed a barrage of obsenities, turned his back to the crowd and mooned an estimated 1,500 shocked onlookers.
While being escorted off the stage by convention security, he was last heard shouting “Did you see the Ramadan moon?! Huh?! Did you???”