Man 88% Sure He Still Has His Wudu

At Asr time, Saleem Mushtaq was 88% certain he still had his wudu from the morning; which is a probability he is comfortable with.

Sterling, VA – As Saleem Mushtaq walked into the prayer hall at a DC area mosque Wednesday afternoon, he paused for a moment to recall if he still had his wudu from earlier in the day.

Wudu is a physical cleaning ritual Muslims must do in preparation for prayer, and one that is “broken” by actions including using the restroom, passing gas, cursing, or engaging in sexual activity.

“I’m positive I didn’t go to the bathroom, but did I… did I fart?” the 28-year-old Systems Architect thought to himself, as he frantically tried to backtrack what he’d been doing for the previous 5 hours. “I mean I had all that Chipotle for lunch, but I was pretty good after that… wait that doesn’t sound like me though.”

Mushtaq could be seen in the middle of the prayer hall standing motionless, with his head tilted up toward the mosque ceiling and eyes squinted as he mentally searched for any memory to warrant a trip back to the wudu area.

“I mean if I DID rip one, i’d probably be proud of it… and that I’d TOTALLY remember. Hmm.”

Mushtaq also clicked on a YouTube clip of Aziz Ansari’s standup, shook hands with an attractive coworker, and mumbled the word ‘dumbass’ to himself after reading Trump’s tweet from earlier that morning. All of these however, were dismissed as insignificant behavior.

After 10 seconds of contemplation, Mushtaq decided he was 88% certain he still had wudu from earlier, and proceeded to perform his afternoon prayers.

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