Man Activates Emergency Bread Ration Plan as Saalan to Roti Ratio Reaches 10:1

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Zeeshan Rizvi activated his emergency bread ration plan when his saalan to roti ratio reached a dangerous level of 10:1.


Skokie, IL – Panic ensued as Zeeshan Rizvi invoked an emergency bread ration plan when he noticed he was down to his last sliver of chapati while dealing with a plateful of daal and shaami kabab.

The 32-year-old instinctively kicked into roti survival mode, as he forced minuscule pieces of bread to take on ten times the recommended saalan workload.

How did it get to this point? Was it a lack of planning? Possibly an over-indulgence, or inefficient use of bread during the first half of the meal? Questions left to be answered some other time. Right now, it’s all about getting through this disproportionate amount of daal and meat with the provision in hand, or risk being left with nothing except his raw fingers.

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