Muslim Community Unveils Plans To Build Pre-Vandalized Mosque

The 30,000 square foot structure is being hailed by architecture communities as a "modern marvel" and is expected to deter any would-be future vandals.

Long Meadows, VA – On Sunday, members from the Long Meadows Islamic community unveiled their plans to build a 30,000 square foot, pre-vandalized mosque intended to serve the needs of the growing Northern Virginia Muslim community. Architects from around the world are hailing the innovative approach as a “modern marvel” as it fuses elements of graffiti, recurring arson, and bullet holes into the facade and framework of a structure expected to house peaceful worshippers praying for humanity’s well being.

Lead Developer and Architect Muhammad Mansoor said he was excited and honored to collaborate with renowned veteran mosque vandal Hank Philips, whose approach and style has heavily influenced modern day mosque vandalism. Philips works include the Murfeesboro Muslim Center and most notably, the Islamic Society of Tennessee — where he pioneered the practice of “pig head on doorstep.”

“Working with Mr. Philips has been a dream come true,” said Mansoor after presenting design layouts to a small audience of reluctant city council members. “His enthusiasm and conspiracy-driven approach has resulted in a xenophobic masterpiece.”

The mosque will also showcase sculptures of life-size mosque protesters as a permanent fixture in the front lawn with a plaque that reads, “In honor of all brave souls that protest that which they do not know.”

Construction of the mosque is expected to be completed within 18 months, and members expect to open their window-shattered doors by 2021.

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