Dr. Anthony Fauci grew visibly frustrated during Trump’s daily coronavirus press briefing, as the President indicated that a regimen of laxatives and Liquid Drano proved effective in flushing out the virus from “millions” of patients, and would soon be put to trial later this week.
The infectious disease expert in charge of advising the White House’s response to the pandemic desperately charged the podium in an effort to muzzle the President. “No! No! No! You damn Nicompoop!” exclaimed Fauci as he ran up with arms flailing in panic.
“Have you lost your f#%king mind?!? I can’t do this anymore! I was supposed to be retired living in a yurt by now.” mumbled the esteemed medical expert who served under six American Presidents.
With an irate invoked blood-red complexion, Fauci positioned himself behind the microphone and began to correct the six factually inaccurate statements made by the President moments earlier.
In other news, Amazon reports it has sold out of Liquid Drano.