Saudi Legalizes Left Hand Marriage Landmark Move For Equality in the Muslim World

Lefty supporters attribute victory to their "Come On, We Wash Them" social media campaign.

RIYADH, KSA – Seeking to stem the tide of anti-government sentiment within the region, King Abdullah announced that left-handed Muslims are now granted government-recognized marriage rights and benefits.

“The dirties can now have the marriage,” declared a visibly disgusted King Abdullah.

For many lefties in the Muslim world, shame and family pressure forces them into leading a right-handed lifestyle in public. Prior to the ruling, marriage amongst two left-handed individuals was impossible.

“All that has now changed,” gleamed Mujahid Abbas, a left-handed migrant worker from Bangladesh. “I’m still essentially slave class here, but now I can marry another lefty and maybe have left-handed children one day.”

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