RIYADH, KSA – A recent report published by the Saudi government’s Division of Polygamy and Slavery noted a rise in the “bobularity of trivorces,” the simultaneous divorce of a man with two or more wives in a polygynous household. The report concluded a 20-year study performed by a team of researchers investigating Arab marriage customs.
“During 1994 and 2014, trivorces increased from 0.2% to 14%,” stated the report. “Also, we’re pretty sure Dajjal was born during this period.”
Researchers cited one popular reason for trivorces was “burnout” from having to endure the “dozen or so” marriage-related parties and ceremonies for subsequent wives.
“It’s bad enough I have to go through that [expletive] myself,” noted one study participant. “Imagine having to go through it again for another wife or two.”
Other popular reasons for trivorce include financial hardship, cheating, “husband surprising old wives with new wife,” and intellectual abuse due to “husband too stupid.”
“This is very concerning for me and my overall game,” stated 47 Year Old Sheikh Waif bin Angri’atmi. “I have two [wives] and they’re getting very fat, you know. I think maybe I go for third but rebort [sic] makes me think thrice.”