TEL AVIV, ISRAEL – At a recent weekend retreat, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu expressed relief the world is finally “over it” regarding continued human rights violations and marginalization of minorities in their region.
He cited the “casual media mention” of a recent discrimination incident against Ethiopian Jews as evidence Israel can continue “business as usual.”
“So what if we don’t let a few kushim [Ed: Israeli racist term for black people] rent property? It’s not like we were bombing hospitals,” he commented, before being cut off and corrected by his press secretary.
“Anyway for a while there, you couldn’t shoot a few kids on the beach without the press going insane about it,” noted Netanyahu. “Come on, we’ve killed over 1,500 Palestinian children since 2000.”
Netanyahu stated Israeli officials endured much hardship during their most recent Gaza assault, noting “[Israeli Spokesman Mark] Regev was bummed about all the hurtful things in social media.”
“We put Regev in a tough spot, not gonna lie,” stated Netanyahu. “It’s hard to keep a straight face and tell CNN we’re not intentionally targeting civilians. He totally ad-libbed the ‘roof knock’ thing and I give him props for not busting out laughing on live television while explaining it.”
Crippling blockades have also been largely ignored by the mainstream press. Canned goods, building materials, soccer balls, crayons and wheelchairs are some of many expressly-forbidden items leading to dire conditions.
“[Israeli Senior Advisor Ron] Dermer said we should ban crayons for the hell of it,” added Netanyahu while laughing hysterically. “Crayons? Ron is such an evil bastard but I love him.”
Netanyahu declared Israel looks forward to continued killings, annexation and bulldozing “whenever we feel like it,” adding the Israeli military is poised for an overly-aggressive response the moment any Palestinian “throws a rock or something.”
