Hebdo, CA – Growing tired of what he perceives as continued silence of Muslims around the globe, 47-Year Old Charlie Daft took to Facebook to voice his complaints.
“You guys, where’s all the so-called moderate Muslim Americans condemning this?” questioned the xenophobic man. “Nowhere! They’re all a bunch of terrorists or terrorist sympathizers.”
Unaware his Facebook feed consists exclusively of news shared by publications he likes and his circle of friends – almost exclusively like-minded racists and fear-mongering nut jobs – he responded, “I don’t care about that technologic babble. The news is the news and I don’t seen none of them saying nothing. I read the so-called Quran. It didn’t take more than a minute or two of Googling it to realize it’s all bad.”
Despite numerous media outlets reporting condemnation from prominent Islamic scholars, organizations and everyday Muslims, few have made it into Daft’s Facebook feed. One exception, a picture of an Indonesian Muslim whose face turned blue from repeated condemnations, was mistaken for a “smurf” as Daft scrolled quickly past.
Minutes later, Daft continued his tirade.
“And another thing, you guys: I hate the way those non-deodorant-using camel jockeys always argue with the cashier at Wal-Mart,” exclaimed Daft. “Go back to France or wherever you came from. Your coupons are no good here, freaking Hindus.”
At press time, Don Lemon was preparing to interview Daft live on CNN.