New Muslim Wonders When Masjid Will Fix Air Conditioning Has No Idea

Tarlington (pictured) is struggling with certain aspects of his newfound Muslim identity.

LEXINGTON, KY – An innocent line of questioning has deteriorated into an array of culture shock for a William Tarlington, a local man who recently converted to Islam.

“Someone really needs to fix the air conditioning at the Islamic center. It wasn’t so bad when I started coming to the mosque in the spring,” explained Tarlington. “But now it’s summer, Ramadan’s kicked in and especially during Taraweeh prayers, it smells like Kentucky Fried Masjid up in here.”

Tarlington’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor when he learned the mosque doesn’t have any form of central air conditioning.

“They have a few ceiling fans up there but I can’t understand why they wouldn’t install A/C,” questioned Tarlington. “How can you spend upwards of $3 million on a masjid and not have A/C?”

Musa Khalid, a longtime friend of Tarlington’s, attempted to explain the variances in cultural values.

“Muslims are cheap. He’s gonna learn,” stated Khalid. “It’s not all roses and baklava.”

Tarlington also questioned whether fellow worshippers properly applied deodorant and wondered if the pungent smell was from perspiration or the iftar meal.

At press time, fellow congregants didn’t have the heart to tell Tarlington somebody’s double-parked behind him and the Muslimah he’s secretly admired will never marry outside of her race.

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