Qatar Awards Messi With Country’s Most Prestigious Hand Bidet

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Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani awards Argentina’s Lionel Messi Qatar’s highest and most prestigious award: a stainless steel hand-held bidet, with 3 adjustable speeds.

After a spectacular World Cup finals match, Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani awarded Argentina’s Lionel Messi Qatar’s highest and most prestigious award: a hand-held bidet.

“Today, we bestow on you a deep piece of Qatari culture… this Muslim hand shower, made from the highest quality stainless steel, with 3 adjustable speeds,” announced the Emir as he handed Messi the metallic water nozzle, seemingly still connected.

“This one is from my very own collection, and will always be tethered to one of my palace’s 137 toilets… enjoy.”

The 35 year old professional footballer was also gifted a spool of 8,288 miles long extension hose which will unravel as he flies back to Buenos Aires.

Tamim then turned to a jubilant stadium crowd to thank attendees who visited Doha from all over the world.

“… And I hope all of you have enjoyed our hotel and public bathroom hand bidets and will remember us as you return to your dry, toilet-paper-centric lives.”

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