Area Mosque Unveils “Skip Announcements” Button For The Super Busy Worshipper

The same mosque that modernized Ramadan prayers with “Twitter Taraweeh,” unveiled a “Skip Announcements” button for the super busy worshipper.

Friday congregants now have the option to listen to all post prayer announcements, or skip ahead to the part when they put their shoes back on, make small talk and exit the building.

“Before the button, we had to sit through these crazy, long announcements,” said mosque attendee Rashad Haleem.

“It’s always the same thing. ‘Please donate . Please buy the biryani. Please pray for Brother Ali who got arrested for embezzling the donations from last Friday.’ Sometimes all you wanna do is get your sunnah prayers on and get back to work. Plus my wudu has a shelf life of 12 minutes. Woops. 11 mins.”

At 99% adoption, the button is a hit with worshippers, but some officials worry it may impact community awareness on critical issues.

“At least make them sit through 10 seconds of my banter,” said Fuad Memon as police handcuffed him for another charge of embezzlement.

Memon could be heard desperately yelling as two officers dragged him out of the mosque.

“They have to be told to donate! Don’t let them skip the part about donations!”

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