NEW YORK, NY – Following a series of disturbing comments during his “Meet the Press” interview, former US Vice President Dick Cheney reinforced the perception that he’s an old, evil miscreant worthy of his first name.
“We didn’t commit torture because we define it as being something people other than us commit,” noted the haggard old beast, his icy heart still somehow managing to beat despite substantially low levels of oxygen reaching his tired, worn brain.
“Torture is what those brown-skinned, bearded Indians did to us on 9/11,” elaborated the old fool, apparently confusing terrorist attacks of war with the systematic torture of seemingly random suspects, many of whom were innocent.
When asked if he had any sense of remorse, the maniacal troll responded, “I have no problem as long as we achieve our objective.”
When pressed on exactly what that objective was Cheney cut the interview short, hopped into his Dickmobile and sped off, cackling incessantly.