New Mosque Still Looks Like Old McDonald’s

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A new mosque on the city’s north side still looks like the old McDonald’s it used to be. Members from the Islamic Society of Northern Chicago acquired the 40 year old building and made minimal efforts to transform the structure from a fast food haven into a place of worship for area muslims.

A new mosque on the city’s north side still looks like the old McDonald’s it used to be. Members from the Islamic Society of Northern Chicago acquired the 40 year old building and made minimal efforts to transform the structure from a fast food haven into a place of worship for area muslims.

Various familiar structures remained visible through a veneer of green paint and makeshift signage. Letters were reshuffled on the facade of the building to spell ‘osque’ and appended to the restaurant’s iconic, golden arches.

“You can totally tell it used to be a Mickey D’s,” observed Mary Smith as she sipped on her latte at a coffee shop across the street.

“They used that 80’s playground thing as a minaret… and wow is that dome made out of a giant hamburger bun?!?”

Inside, patrons coped with a sudden craving for Filet-O-Fish sandwiches. Others sat obliviously in their car, stranded in the drive-thru line.

“I ordered a McRib, but instead they gave me something called a MaghRib?”

The Imam of the mosque, Shake Raniyal Mukh-Danniyal made an impassioned, venue-inspired sermon to a relatively small congregation.

“Islam is like a super-sized happy meal for your soul!” said Mukh-Daaniyal behind a cash register repurposed as a lectern.

“And parents make sure to register your kids for sundae school… because in heaven, the ice cream machine is never broken!”

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