Descrambler Reveals New Muslim Cable Channel

The scrambled version Muslim-owned Crossroads television (top) appears to be much more stimulating to viewers than the descrambled version (bottom).

CLAREMONT, CA – Twenty-year-old Musa Hathout was disappointed last week when he found out that channel 96 was the home of the new ‘Crossroads’ Muslim lifestyles cable television channel.

The young Hathout made the discovery after he connected his new ClearMax 6000 cable box he bought from an eBay auction. The ClearMax 6000, along with other cable descramblers, allows viewers to clearly and illegally watch premium scrambled channels.

“My parents went to umrah last week, so I thought what better time to hook up the ClearMax,” the second year Cal Pomona student said.

Much to Musa’s chagrin, however, the first thing he saw was the new series, “Muslim Assimilation Hour with Paul Khalini.”

“It looked so different when it was all wavy and distorted. So much more… interesting.”

Musa Hathout still plans to keep the cable box in hopes of a future shift in the channel lineup. He also plans to find out what is on channel 97.

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