DEARBORN, MI – Parents at a local Islamic School were given a rude awakening last week in the form of screeching tires on a 2005 Lexus RX-330 SUV. The aggressive driver, identified as 29 Year Old Faria Daud, was spotted weaving in and out of traffic approximately 30 miles per hour over the posted speed limit.
“One second she’s honking like a cab driver and the next she’s smiling, kissing her kids goodbye and giggling like nothing happened,” stated one confused onlooker. “It’s really at odds with her ‘Coexist’ bumper sticker.”
“I think she flicked me off,” stated parent and longtime family friend Asad Maluza. “I’ve never seen this side of her. After seeing that, I connected the dots with the soccer game incident.”
Maluza explained that after a soccer match last month, many children came home complaining of dizziness and nausea. Daud, an active volunteer for many school activities, was the driver and chaperone.
When asked for an explanation, the soft-spoken mother of two blamed “some bad hummus the kids had for lunch before the game” and added it might be “some sickness going around.”
The children, however, tell a different story. One youth described Daud as “a freaking total maniac” who “used words I never heard before.”
“My child asked me what an [expletive] was,” explained another disappointed parent. “I’m not sure I even know what a [expletive] is but he says she shouted it while making a hard right. She’s probably the reason they don’t let women drive in Saudi. ”
Many children remarked Daud was “waving funny” at other drivers with her middle finger, texting constantly and, at one point, exited the vehicle with a baseball bat.
At press time, police were investigating allegations this may be connected to the “crazy baseball bat ninja” reports from last fall.
