On Tuesday morning, loyal MAGA supporter and American Flag bandana connoisseur Charles Wade indicated he needed more time to process, rot inside, and defend President Trump’s latest racist tweet.
“Now wait one dad gum minute! I dunno what the President said about them black people or immigrants,” shouted Wade when he was approached by local reporters looking for perspective on Trump’s morning rant, filled with racist tropes and xenophobic undertones.
“Hell, I barely got off the crapper and ya’ll bum-rush me to speak to something I ain’t got a Sam Hill clue about. I told you fake news animals before, it’s a process and it takes time. I gotta look at myself in the mirror every morning, say goodbye to the part of me I gotta sell in order to defend whatever tweet I need to defend to protect this country from them liberals. That’s a lot of moral decaying to do before 7 am. So back off!”
Chase then shifted his focus away from journalists to a foyer mirror affixed on the wall, as he grit his teeth and stared at himself with increasing disappointment.
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