Zombie Janaza Extends Into Third Week Local Officials Struggling to Resolve Situation

Zombies were also notably better parkers than the living members of the local community.

ELGIN, IL – A local janazah took a strange turn recently when the deceased arose from his casket in a zombified state and bit several worshippers as they prayed. Survivors immediately performed funeral prayers for the newly-deceased however during those prayers, more deceased rose from their caskets and proceeded to bite and kill additional worshippers. This cyclical, supernatural phenomenon has continued for the last several days and the “zombie janazah” has filled half the prayer hall.

Local authorities are pleading that worshippers abstain from entering the prayer hall while they assess the situation and consider potential resolutions.

“People keep coming into the masjid thinking they’re catching jama’at,” explained a mosque official. “All they’re doing is offering fresh meat to these rabid, undead zombies.”

On a positive note, many remarked the zombies appear to have straighter lines and better overall hygiene than regular attendees.

The prayer service has been going on for 18 straight days and collected $6,000 in donations, far outpacing their living counterparts.

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