Cleveland, OH – Amid criticism and protests, the Cleveland Indians announced they will replace the divisive Chief Wahoo mascot with the new ‘Call Center Raj.’
“Major League Baseball is committed to building a culture of diversity and inclusion throughout the game,” MLB’s commissioner, Rob Manfred, said in a statement.
“We realize that the inaccurate portrayal of an Indian with a Native American has caused grief and pain to many. We can only imagine how Indian Americans as well as Indians all over the world must have felt through this ignorance and oversight.”
Indians owner Larry Dolan said it was time his organization modernized its team’s branding with a more accurate approach and ensure it attracts future generations of fans.
“I told them, ‘No not THOSE kind of Indians. You’re thinking woo woo woo, and i’m saying the bollywood type,'” said an animated, yet frustrated Dolan.
“If we’re really being honest, I blame Christopher Columbus for this mess.”
Fans have already taken to social media to show their approval. Some have proposed replacing the current offensive chants, with ones ‘Call Center Raj’ would say, including:
- “Please explain me problem.”
- “Maybe YOU need to restart YOUR computer!”
- “My name is Henry Stevens, but I don’t sound anything like a Henry Stevens.”
- “What time is it? IRS SCAM TIME!”
Merchandise with the new mascot will go on sale online as early as next summer, and ample tech support will be available.