He Is, Like, So Not Worth My Time

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"Eeeyuuu!"

Written By Anonymous 17 Year Old Sister

At first, I was like “Oh my god!” Why do they always do this to me? Weirdo gross brown women have been asking me the same stupid marriage questions since I was like 16. Okay so check this out. Like last week, no wait, maybe it was a few days ago, no wait it was last week. Anyway, my mom and dad found this guy that they want me to meet.

I’m like “Get over it, lady. I’m not interested in your brainwashed, mama’s boy loser son, okay?”

I *so* don’t get this. Like a thousand “sighs” to the infinitive power.

It would be, like, totally cool if they found an awesome guy, mashAllah, that I could totally spend all my time with. But I think they’re all taken or weird or gross.

Like this one guy they made me meet, he was kinda okay… until he wrote me like this mile-long e-mail telling me how much he loved me. This was after having like a 5 minute conversation. Hel-looo?

What. Ever.

I guess I like shouldn’t complain and stuff since a lot of girls are less fortunate and ugly and stuff. They don’t get any guys giving them attention. I’m so thankful that I look so cute, mash’Allah, no matter what I wear. I don’t even need much makeup.

My parents are like so freaking out right now because I’m almost 18 and they think that I’m gonna expire soon or something. I’m like “Daddy! Credit cards expire, not people. Okay?!”

Speaking of credit cards, I think I’m gonna go shopping in a bit.

But anyway, I don’t plan on getting hooked up until, like, the ripe old age of like 21, okay?

I just wish these freaks would back off, you know? Don’t even get me started on the FOB I’ve gotta meet next week. Cry, cry, cry. Poor me.

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