Eid Prayers Held at Bambi’s All Other Venues Booked

645
Many were enthused that unlike prayer halls booked in the past, Bambi's had decent parking arrangements.

Houston, TX – After a significant reservation oversight, the Islamic Community of Greater Houston (ICGH) was forced to make a last-minute decision in finding an appropriate venue for this year’s Eid-ul-Fitr prayer. With both the George R. Brown Convention Center and the Astrohall booked, ICGH President Malik Muhammad was faced with very few options.

“I’m not sure who dropped the ball on this one, but we had no time and had to think fast,” said Muhammad.

ICGH, for the first time in North American Eid prayer history, reserved Bambi’s located off Westheimer Rd. The establishment has been described by the business as a “place where gentlemen meet.”

“My advisor, Hassan Tulaybah had told me about a place he once visited a few months ago, and said it had adequate capacity once all the tables and small stages had been moved. I went with it, not bothering to investigate further,” said Muhammad.

Tulaybah described his last-minute strategy as a “no brainer.”

“When ICGH asked me where to hold a Ayeeeeeed Brayer, I say ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh Bumbi Hall!”

Tulaybah then proceeded to belch a waft of vodka into the air, and passed out.

Because the morning prayers were held outside of Bambi’s normal operating hours, most of the establishment’s typical patrons were nowhere to be found.

As people entered into Bambi’s, a voice over the megaphone could be heard saying, “Brothers and sisters, please remove your shoes and nothing else!”

“And don’t forget to Purell yourselves every five minutes!”

Many community members witnessed the anomalies spawned from the event.

“It was amazing, I could see the imam hanging from a pole giving the khutbah. He kept addressing us as ‘Gentlemen and Sisters,'” said an excited Haris Qudus, 19, who normally wouldn’t be able to enter Bambi’s due to his age.

This year, Eid expenses were calculated at $5 per head, unless congregants wished to experience the venue’s ‘VIP Backroom’ at $25 per head.

“The people who came early got to sit in the VIP lounge, but you know it’s not really different in there,” said Malik Muhammad. “Same thing you have out here just in a more intimate setting.”

One of Bambi’s infamous dancers, Sparkles, was just ending her shift from the previous night as congregants began to arrive. As she walked out of the building, she was pulled aside by an ICGH volunteer.

“Some jerk with a big beard just told me to go back to the sisters section,” she said with disgust. “I told him, ‘Honey, this whole room IS THE SISTERS SECTION!'”

At the end, more donations were requested to pay for the hall, and folded one-dollar bills were the preferred denomination.

Facebook Comments