NEW YORK, NY – In a breaking development, Fox News has concluded the recent MERS infection of an undisclosed US citizen is, in fact, a terrorist act. The news was reported throughout the day by their team of white, blonde women anchors.
On her 5AM broadcast, Fox News Anchor Ainsley Earhardt announced that MERS, of known Saudi origin, is part of “Al-Marad”, a group of radicalized, militant viruses. In addition to MERS, the terrorist group includes Meningitis, Goat Pox, Patchy Beard, Camel Toe, and Sharia law.
At 9AM Martha MacCallum, another blonde, went on to detail various facts, mixed liberally with opinions, in an attempt to build the case that this is actually news.
Blonde Anchor Gretchen Carlson invited Islamaphobe/expert Ayaat Hirsi Ali to her broadcast who noted that Al-Marad “has been brewing in the region for several decades” and warned of the threat of “global Islamic virus pandemic.”
Ali concluded “all Muslims are the devil” and urged viewers to buy her book.
On her nightly broadcast, Fox News Blonde Megyn Kelly invited Ibrahim Hooper, one of the founders of the Council of American-Islamic Relations (CAIR).
“It came from Saudi Arabia,” stated Kelly, digging right to the heart of the matter, “Isn’t it true that’s where Mr. Al Qaeda was born?”
Hooper, dumbfounded by the light of truth, struggled to respond.
The grilling wasn’t over, though, as Kelly added, “Mr. Hooper, why did you leave Sesame Street? I thought you died. That ruined my childhood. You’re a liar and vagrant.”