Trump Says Most Americans Are Looking Forward To Climbing Over Dead Bodies To Get Back To Work

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On Thursday, President Trump suggested that most Americans were looking forward to climbing over thousands of COVID victims as part of their commute.

Anxious to get the economy moving again, President Trump said the American people were eager to climb over victims of the current coronavirus pandemic, in order to get back to work.

“People all over have been telling me – and these are good people – they’re telling me they won’t mind climbing over or driving around bodies to get to work,” said the President at a daily task force press conference.

“And i’m hearing some people are now cured with a Mentos and a cough drop, which, as you know i’ve been saying for a year.”

Trump then announced his plan to send every surviving American a catapult to get a leap over any cadaverous barriers during their post Easter commutes.

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