Islamica News News You Can Lose

Many noted that while Cheney is most definitely a Dick, even his most recent comments are beyond the norm for him.

Cheney Reaffirms He’s Dick

You Can't Make This Up

NEW YORK, NY – Following a series of disturbing comments during his “Meet the Press” interview, former US Vice President Dick Cheney reinforced the perception that he’s an old, evil miscreant worthy of his...

In addition to ham sandwiches, Queens District Attorney Abdul Wallace has successfully indicted sausage links, bacon bits, pepperoni pizza and gummy bears.

Muslims Indict a Ham Sandwich

Grand jury makes decision to open up expeditious trial

New York, NY – A grand jury comprised of Muftis, Imams, and other variants of Muslim successfully indicted a ham sandwich late Thursday, as there was “compelling” evidence towards the dubious composition of the...

Father skeptical of Convert-Son-In-Law’s Zabiha Turkey

"Pretty sure we're going to see a Christmas tree pop up in a couple of weeks..."

Downers Grove, IL – Masoud Rahmnan kept turning down offers of turkey at his daughter’s house on Thursday, as he remained suspicious of his new son-in-law’s practices and convictions towards the Islamic faith. “I’m...

The confusing press conference quickly spiraled out of control.

CAIR Condemns UAE For Condemning CAIR

Reporters Reportedly Confused

WASHINGTON, DC – Speaking at a press event earlier today, CAIR spokesperson Corey Saylor issued a strong condemnation of the UAE’s recent condemnation of CAIR as a terrorist organization. “We absolutely and unequivocally condemn...

Zombies were also notably better parkers than the living members of the local community.

Zombie Janaza Extends Into Third Week

Local Officials Struggling to Resolve Situation

ELGIN, IL – A local janazah took a strange turn recently when the deceased arose from his casket in a zombified state and bit several worshippers as they prayed. Survivors immediately performed funeral prayers...

Despite repeated pleas, mosque visitors continue dropping credit cards into the donation box.

Masjid Hacked, Credit Cards Stolen

Security Experts Detail "Largest Breach of Its Kind"

DEVON, IL – A mosque was recently hacked and the contents of it’s donation box were emptied. Security experts are calling it the biggest security breach of its kind. “We believe the perpetrators originally...

Bennett was supported by a mysterious, unnamed figure who chimed in with a menacing laugh every few minutes.

American Muslims Urge Oklahoma to Secede

Might As Well, Nobody Listening to Reason

TULSA, OK- In the wake of ignorant Islamophobic comments by their elected leaders, a recent USA Today poll revealed that the majority of American Muslims are urging Oklahoma to secede from the union. “I...

The President was enthusiastic during dress rehearsals earlier today, but admitted to "butterflies" on the eve of the live execution.

Obama Prepares For Live Gitmo Prisoner Execution

US Plans Televised Event In Response to ISIS Threat

WASHINGTON, DC – In response to escalating hostilities from the terrorist group known as ISIS, US President Barack Obama is finalizing preps for a live, televised execution of a random prisoner from the US...