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Husain noted his father  threatened to disown him if he switched to a "nonsense" major.

Local Teen Ponders Coming Out of “Medical Closet”

Fears Family Scrutiny, Ridicule

HOUSTON, TX – Helplessly locked into a Medicine major since the age of seven, local teen Salman “Silly” Husain is considering calling it quits. “High school was grueling with all the AP classes,” noted...

Confused residents refer to Daud as a modern-day "Jekyll and Hyde."

Quiet Muslim Woman Secretly Rageaholic on Road

Patterns Noticed, Many Fearful

DEARBORN, MI – Parents at a local Islamic School were given a rude awakening last week in the form of screeching tires on a 2005 Lexus RX-330 SUV. The aggressive driver, identified as 29...

Four green turtles help you out after you dismiss your four green turtles.

LotaCorp introduces ‘Istinja Turtles’ Lota

Nothing gets you cleaner than 4 green turtles joining in on the action!

SUNNYVALE, CA – Riding the wave of this summer’s blockbuster release, LotaCorp (NASDAQ:’LOTA’) unveiled its new ‘Istinja Turtles’ style lota. Four eager, heat-transferred turtles (of the mutant variety) are ready to take on your...

Masheen's beard is sunnah, but the rest of his story is far from it.

Incompetent Jihadist Contemplates Career Change

Struggling to Find a Cause, Group

MADISON, WI – Six months after being dismissed from a local terrorist group, former IT worker and part-time jihadist Saleem Masheen is thinking it might be time to change focus in his search employment....

2014 'Imamapalooza' headliners announced. This year's event is expected to draw a record-breaking crowd.

ISNA Unveils Lineup for 2014 ‘Imamapalooza’

Tickets Expected to Sell Out Quickly

DETROIT, MI – The ISNA rumorville came to a halt on Monday, as it released this year’s Imamapalooza lineup. Die-hard fans of the festival will be pleased to hear that Hamza Yusuf will once...