Islamica News News You Can Lose

The confusing press conference quickly spiraled out of control.

CAIR Condemns UAE For Condemning CAIR

Reporters Reportedly Confused

WASHINGTON, DC – Speaking at a press event earlier today, CAIR spokesperson Corey Saylor issued a strong condemnation of the UAE’s recent condemnation of CAIR as a terrorist organization. “We absolutely and unequivocally condemn...

Zombies were also notably better parkers than the living members of the local community.

Zombie Janaza Extends Into Third Week

Local Officials Struggling to Resolve Situation

ELGIN, IL – A local janazah took a strange turn recently when the deceased arose from his casket in a zombified state and bit several worshippers as they prayed. Survivors immediately performed funeral prayers...

Despite repeated pleas, mosque visitors continue dropping credit cards into the donation box.

Masjid Hacked, Credit Cards Stolen

Security Experts Detail "Largest Breach of Its Kind"

DEVON, IL – A mosque was recently hacked and the contents of it’s donation box were emptied. Security experts are calling it the biggest security breach of its kind. “We believe the perpetrators originally...

Bennett was supported by a mysterious, unnamed figure who chimed in with a menacing laugh every few minutes.

American Muslims Urge Oklahoma to Secede

Might As Well, Nobody Listening to Reason

TULSA, OK- In the wake of ignorant Islamophobic comments by their elected leaders, a recent USA Today poll revealed that the majority of American Muslims are urging Oklahoma to secede from the union. “I...

The President was enthusiastic during dress rehearsals earlier today, but admitted to "butterflies" on the eve of the live execution.

Obama Prepares For Live Gitmo Prisoner Execution

US Plans Televised Event In Response to ISIS Threat

WASHINGTON, DC – In response to escalating hostilities from the terrorist group known as ISIS, US President Barack Obama is finalizing preps for a live, televised execution of a random prisoner from the US...

Newly-elected President Azhar Azeez addresses reporters after the announcement.

Labor Day Weekend to be Renamed “Eid ul-Isna”

ISNA Claims It Just Makes Sense

DETROIT, MI – On the eve of their annual convention, the Islamic Society of North America issued a press release declaring the long weekend to officially become an Islamic holiday. “Muslims have been clamoring...

Marty Freiberg mentioned how the Regev character was starting to choke his abilities to branch out as an actor.

Actor Who Plays Mark Regev Calling It Quits

Marty Freiberg Shocks the World at MTV's Video Music Awards

INGLEWOOD, CA – In an unexpected move, the actor who portrays the infamous and oft-maligned Israeli Spokesman Mark Regev has resigned. Strangely, 54 Year Old Australian Actor Mark “Marty” Freiberg chose to announce his...