Thursday, November 21, 2024
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Netanyahu Quietly Asks Elon Musk To Change Gaza’s Wifi Password

During a trip to Israel, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu asked Elon Musk to change Gaza's Wifi password.

On Monday, Benjamin Netanyahu quietly asked Elon Musk to change Gaza’s wifi password in order to prevent Palestinians from broadcasting real-time images of devastation and genocidal crimes to the rest of the world via social media.

Netanyahu made the request of Musk during the billionaire’s visit to Israel to address “information security” matters.

“I am not someone who is – how you say – tech savvy – or – how you say – honest,” said Netanyahu to Musk as he walked him over to a data closet right outside the Gaza strip.

“Perhaps you can reset the password to something else like ‘ithamasfault123’ or ‘ilovekillingbabies01’ or ‘idontwashmyhandsafterpeepee00’ so that they can’t log on.”

The Israeli Prime Minister also asked Musk to clear his web browsing history while he was at it.

Follow @islamicanews – for free wifi and free 🍉

Multi-talented Woman Has the Ability to Condemn Killing Of Certain Children and Promote The Killing of Certain Other Children All at the Same Time

25 year old Leah Coen has a remarkable ability to express two completely opposing thoughts in the same breath without a flinch.

25 year old, multi-talented Leah Coen can simultaneously condemn the killing of certain children while advocating the indiscriminate murder of certain other children in impressive, dissonant form.

The Brooklyn resident is remarkably capable of expressing two diametrically opposed thoughts without a discernible flinch.

“It’s disgusting what Hamas did to those babies, and it’s important that Israel continues to obliterate those other babies that had nothing to do with these babies and we should all be able to coexist because it’s our land not theirs and they need to leave and go somewhere else because we need to preserve life by killing every Palestinian man, woman and child. Peace, love and no ceasefire,” said Coen as she pouted her lips and posed for the gram.

Follow @islamicanews for more conflicted thought coverage

IDF Shows Inside Of Alleged Hamas Member’s Home And His “Bomb-Making Leather Sectional”

On Wednesday, an IDF spokesperson showed members of the press a dangerous 2 piece sectional allegedly used to make explosives.

On Wednesday, the Israeli Defense Forces led a handful of reporters through the living room of an alleged Hamas militant’s home for an exclusive look at explosive manufacturing devices including a modern, 2 piece, leather bomb-making sectional and two violently plush velvet recliners.

“We are standing in what is the lion’s den of a vile Hamas operation,” announced Admiral Daniel Levin as he showcased a professionally interior designed space with midcentury flare.

“As you can see, this top-grain, tan leather seating arrangement is where they probably built rockets. They acquire these tools from the extremist government of Iran, or Wayfair… because they hate the West… Elm.”

After Levin paraded several seasonal decor items and “projectile” throw pillows, he picked up a TV remote to show how Hamas used wireless tech for destruction.

“This button here says ‘Netflix’ which is arabic for triggering explosion and other Stranger Things.”

Follow @islamicanews for our exposé of the world’s most dangerous floral arrangements.

Navigating The Word Game: Part 1

Navigating the Word Game

Police Bomb Texas Elementary School To Stop Active Shooter, End Up Killing 250 Children

Ezrael County Police Department
Ezrael County Police tried to stop a school shooter suspected of hiding inside Lakeland Elementary, but end up killing all 250 children. Gunman still at large.

In an effort to stop an active shooter suspected of hiding inside a Texas school, Ezrael County Police bombed Lakeland Elementary killing all 250 students.

Chief Benjamin Yahu dismissed any responsibility and claimed the gunman, identified as 32 year old Burt Shamas, used the children as human shields.

“The Ezrael County Police Department has a right to defend itself,” stated Yahu against the backdrop of mutilated bodies and limbs, ranging in ages between 5 and 9 years old.

“If these children didn’t want Shamas, why did they and their parents let him into the school? Why did they let him live amongst them? Why did they vote for politicians who supported Shamas to have access to these deadly weapons? This is on Shamas and all the folks that allowed him to exist.”

Yahu mentioned the gunman is still at large, and could be hiding in area hospitals.

President Biden, is expected to visit later today and deliver remarks as well as more weapons to the Ezrael County Police Department.

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