Expressing disappointment they couldn’t publish a slue of articles on the night of Trump’s presumptive loss, writers at the popular Islamica News publication expressed anger and frustration on the election of their new orange overlord.

“This is crap. He wasn’t supposed to win,” lamented one writer. “I spent over 15 minutes writing new material and it’s all gone to waste.”

An estimated three articles and two pictures, one an infographic, were carnage as a result of Trump’s win. Management, however, stated some optimism some content could be repurposed in four years.

“Of course it doesn’t help that he keeps stealing our material before we can publish it,” added an intern.

At press time, staff writers were realizing this means four more years of Trump material and promised to churn out more content to jab at bigots, zealots and the people who elect them.

Atlanta, GA – As a result of continuous interactive map coverage, full of John King’s finger swipes and toggles, CNN’s infamous touch-screen monitor became spattered with what appears to be food smears and fecal matter.

“We’ve been trying to project a winner for Colorado, but we can’t tell if the state is red, blue, or -eww brown,” said CNN news anchor Wolf Blitzer.

During commercial breaks, CNN’s election coverage team said they’ve witnessed King pick his nose, sneeze violently into his hands, and eat melting Hershey’s Kisses. One cameraman noted King failed to wash his hands after running out of the bathroom stall.

“I HAVE TO GET BACK TO THE MAP!” yelled King, as he flailed his dirty fingers down the hallway.

“He’s got a monopoly on that screen, because no one else wants to touch it,” said Blitzer.

Blitzer passed out after he observed King’s fingers continuously trailing along the map, in between plucking wax out from his ears.