HOLLYWOOD, CA – In a seemingly unbreakable and sad trend in modern-day filmmaking, MGM/UA is poised to release the sequel to their controversial film, “Not Without My Daughter”.

Entitled “Wait, I Forgot My Son”, the movie marks the return of depressing actress Sally Field as well as all the Jewish actors originally hired to play Muslims in the original. “I felt that the world needed to be reminded of how horrible the Muzlamic religion is,” stated Field.

“We also felt the need to show Muzlims that their method of prayer is wrong.”

What Field was referring to was the numerous prayer references in both the original movie and the sequel that depict traditional Islamic prayer as a random sequence of standing, bowing and loudly shouting various Arabic phrases in a rapidly repeated fashion for approximately twenty minutes.

Seemingly devoid of any plot whatsoever, “Wait, I Forgot My Son” depicts the journey of Field’s character into bowels of a villified Muslim country in search of her newborn son (played by Danny Devito).

“At the beginning of the new movie, my character marries a 7-11 clerk [who is later revealed as being suspected terrorist Osama bin Laden] and bares his child,” explains Field.

“Needless to say, as per Muzlamic tradition, Osama takes his only son back to Afghanistan with him and it becomes my mission in life to get him back.”

News of the pending release of the movie has been met by much opposition and criticism from various Islamic groups such as CAIR (Council of American Islamic Relations) and ISNA (Islamic Society of North America) as well as the TDU (Taxi Drivers Union) and most Dunkin Donuts.

“I hate those kinds of flims, man,” exclaims Ali Kamal, Owner of Dunkin Donuts Store #294. “If that Sally Field ever come my store, I won’t give her the free donuts.”

That same sentiment was also heard from most Arab liquor store owners who are planning on refusing free liquor for Field as well as all taxi drivers refusing to take her anywhere.

The Hizbollah, not to be outdone, have also announced plans to steal the hollywood actress’s children and raise them overseas.

CHICAGO, IL – Boring the crowd for an estimated three hours, the entertainment night at a local-area Islamic convention consisted, yet again, of nothing but rap acts and the videos designed to teach Islam to children in the 2-3 year-old range.

Festivities started out rather lively with guest speaker Hakeem Olajuwan giving a speech about life, basketball and Islam but conditions deteriorated rather quickly once Olajuwon left the stage.

Crowd onlookers were subjected to a battery of 3 back-to-back episodes of ‘Adams World’ followed by various Islamic rap acts and ending with the debut of Astrolabe’s new show entitled “Tele-Arabees.”

Originality was sorely lacking as most rap acts looked and sounded like reruns of music videos from the early 90s. Artists performances included sets by L.L. Khool J, DJ Jazzy Jaleel and Fresh Prince of Morocco, and Queen Latifah.

One artist in particular, named Br. Yoyo Boyyuddin, sounded as though his act was completely unrehearsed and made up spur-of-the-moment.

Aside from the fact that none of Boyyuddin’s lyrics rhymed, he was heard spewing out pathetic lyrics such as “Daddy wakes me up in the morning to pray Fajr. Then I go to sleep. Then I wake up again to pray Isha and wash the dishas” and “I hate it when I forget my lyrics sheet at home, but that’s alright, cuz I can make up dope lyrics without my sheet…naw you ain’t booin’…naw you aint booin”.

Boyyuddin set a new record when he managed to lull half the crowd to sleep in under 3 minutes while the other half of the crowd decided to start voicing their anger and hostility. Shouts of “You suck!” and “Jordan’s Over!” drowned out most of Boyyuddin’s lyrics.

Boyyuddin, however, was unaffected and reacted just as angrily when he began shouting, “Shake it. Bake it. Assalaamualaik It. Y’all think y’all got wudu but I think I’ll break it.”

Immediately following this line, witnesses cliaim that Boyyuddin screamed a barrage of obsenities, turned his back to the crowd and mooned an estimated 1,500 shocked onlookers.

While being escorted off the stage by convention security, he was last heard shouting “Did you see the Ramadan moon?! Huh?! Did you???”