Pages
- Area Mosque Unveils “Skip Announcements” Button For The Super Busy Worshipper
- Contact
- Home
- If They Converted
- Infostats
- Islamica News Archive
- News Pics
- Privacy Policy
- Reset Password
- Site Map
- Subscribe
- Terms of Service
Posts by category
- Category: Advice
- Shaikh Mabuti’s 7 Tips To Ease Into Ramadan (06/06/2016)
- Repeat Ifreet (11/28/2002)
- “Silent But Deadly” Samir (11/28/2002)
- Distressed Hairorist (11/28/2002)
- Category: Announcements
- Category: Business
- To Win Muslim Customers Back, Starbucks Will Put Hijabs On Every Drink (12/26/2023)
- Company Issues Recall On Ultra-High Powered Muslim Shower (09/17/2022)
- Halalco Introduces Prayer Crossing Gate (09/16/2022)
- Guy Who Looted Indian Store Has No Idea What To Do With 43 Boxes of Shan Masala, Calling Cards (06/03/2020)
- New Lota Now Comes with Attached Helping Hand (04/23/2020)
- Trump Says Most Americans Are Looking Forward To Climbing Over Dead Bodies To Get Back To Work (03/26/2020)
- Facebook Unveils ‘Start Civil War’ Feature To Address Current Political Crisis (10/10/2018)
- Airlines Cracking Down On Emotional Support Manimals (02/06/2018)
- Cleveland Indians Replace ‘Chief Wahoo’ with ‘Call Center Raj’ (02/01/2018)
- Startup Seeks to Fund Muslim Survival Kits (12/05/2015)
- Muslim Coworker Spotted Heading Into Restroom With Stanley Cup (06/17/2015)
- Study: Terrorists Opting to Work From Home (05/26/2015)
- Weekender – Progressive White Couple Excited to Try Ethnic Restaurants with Bad Service (05/08/2015)
- Chronic Lateness Continues Despite Apple Watch (04/24/2015)
- Tough Decision Looms for Hot Convenience Store Clerk Prospect (03/09/2015)
- Campbell’s Announces New Haram Line of Soups (02/22/2015)
- Reacting to Backlash, Jeep Releases ‘Corrected’ Version of Super Bowl Ad (02/04/2015)
- Leaked iPhone Image is Met with Criticism, Suspicion and Mixed Reviews (09/09/2014)
- Rami The Ramadan Ram Ignites Controversy (07/27/2014)
- Scarlett Johansson, Sodastream Cause Another Uproar (07/21/2014)
- Nobody Really Knows, Trusts Local Halal Butcher (06/04/2014)
- Muslim Networking Event Full of Unemployed, Unemployable (05/21/2014)
- McDonald’s Next to Area Mosque Out of Fish (Again) (05/16/2014)
- Dollar Stores Issue Massive Sandal Recall (05/15/2014)
- Flawlessly Preserved 1997 IT Worker Discovered (05/09/2014)
- LotaCorp introduces ‘Istinja Turtles’ Lota (04/16/2014)
- Incompetent Jihadist Contemplates Career Change (04/16/2014)
- Struggling Al-Qaeda Hires First Chief Marketing Officer (04/01/2014)
- Halal Butcher Loses Finger, Hopes No One Notices (12/24/2003)
- Hijabi To Embark On New Career (10/05/2003)
- Jinn Scare Tactics Still Work on 45-Year Old (08/12/2003)
- FBI Cracks Down On Lemonade Stand Ring (11/30/2002)
- Local Jamaat Wins Celebrity Vans In Auction (11/30/2002)
- Revlon Releases Controversial Clear Plastic Hijab (12/01/1999)
- Matrimonial Service Celebrates 20 Years, Four Marriages (12/01/1999)
- Islamica Finally Reveals Secret! (12/01/1999)
- Category: Editorial
- Navigating The Word Game: Part 1 (11/02/2023)
- CHECK OUT THESE LESSER KNOWN MUSLIM TRAILBLAZERS! (04/10/2019)
- Opinion: This Thanksgiving Muslim-Americans Will Practice ‘Turkeyya’ (11/24/2016)
- Editorial: Where the hell are the Muslim voices condemning terrorism?!? (11/18/2015)
- Opinion: It’s Not the Mosques We Fear, It’s the Dragons That Live Underneath Them (10/10/2015)
- Perspective: You Muslim Kids In The US Have No Idea What It Was Like Here Forty Years Ago (06/29/2015)
- Opinion: Brother Mujahid: Based on Your Son’s Foursquare Check-ins, He hasn’t been Fasting (07/28/2014)
- Let’s Focus on the Real Issue Here (04/08/2014)
- Will Someone Please Marry My Ugly Sister? (10/05/2003)
- He Is, Like, So Not Worth My Time (08/12/2003)
- Sikh of Being Mistaken For An Arab (12/01/2002)
- Category: Education
- Texas School Celebrates Brilliant White Student’s Homemade Clock (09/16/2015)
- MacArthur High School E-Newsletter (09/16/2015)
- School Teacher Successfully Mispronounces ‘Siddiqui’ Ten Years In A Row (08/25/2015)
- School Bully Experimenting With New Insults This Year (08/24/2015)
- Islamic School Teacher Shares Heartbreaking Notes From Students (04/19/2015)
- Local Teen Ponders Coming Out of “Medical Closet” (04/22/2014)
- Islamic School Hosts Annual Misspelling Bee (04/05/2014)
- Third Grade Palestinian Boy Claims Responsibility for ‘Attack’ (10/10/2004)
- Santa Myth Exposed: Muslim Second Grader Ruins Christmas for Entire Class (12/24/2003)
- Shady MSA Getting Shadier (10/05/2003)
- Local MSA Still Ponders Reason For Its Existence (11/30/2002)
- Guest Speaker Takes Local Fundraiser Hostage (11/30/2002)
- Doctors Ticked At All These ‘New Computer Guys’ (12/01/1999)
- Category: Featured
- Category: Islamica Asks
- Islamica News Asks: As a Muslim-American, do you celebrate Christmas? (12/25/2021)
- Islamica Asks: On which day will you be celebrating Eid-ul-Fitr? (07/16/2015)
- What do you make of ISIS banning Eid prayers? (07/13/2015)
- What do you think of sharia law in Brunei? (05/08/2014)
- What are your thoughts regarding the 2004 elections? (10/10/2004)
- What do you think of Saddam Hussein’s capture? (12/24/2003)
- What do you think of Muslims assimilating into mainstream culture? (10/05/2003)
- Why do you think so many arranged marriages are ending in divorce? (08/12/2003)
- In light of 9/11, what’s your perception of Arabs and Muslims? (12/01/2002)
- How is Eid in your community? (11/28/2002)
- Category: Life
- Multi-talented Woman Has the Ability to Condemn Killing Of Certain Children and Promote The Killing of Certain Other Children All at the Same Time (11/16/2023)
- “Happy Pakistan Independence Day!” Says Man Who Got The Hell Out of There 40 Years Ago (08/15/2023)
- British Queen Colonizes Grave (09/09/2022)
- Mosque Investigation Reveals All 5,000 Congregants Really Secret FBI Informants Trying To Entrap Each Other (12/22/2021)
- Single Indian Man Would Like You To Know His Pronouns Are ‘Hum Aur Thum’ (09/16/2021)
- Bored Moon Sighting Committee Declares Eid For The Hell of It (01/25/2021)
- Before Leaving Washington, Trump Turns Around And Shouts “Allah-U-Akbar!” (01/20/2021)
- Mysterious Toyota Camry Monolith Appears in Mosque Parking Lot, Blocks Traffic (12/18/2020)
- “You’re All Going To Hell!” Yells Drunk Uncle At Iftar Drinking Straight From Rooh Afza Bottle (05/16/2020)
- Update: Heaven Definitely Not Under Dad’s Feet (05/10/2020)
- Pakistani Father Ends Shelter-in-Place Lockdown For Sons, Not For Daughter (05/09/2020)
- Study Finds 98% of Disputes in Muslim Households Are Over Prayer Timetable (05/01/2020)
- Shariah Law Takeover Results in New Khanfederate Flag (04/23/2020)
- Quarantine Reflections From 6 Muslim Immigrants (04/16/2020)
- Friend Who Never Prays Will Make Sure To Keep You In His Duas (01/14/2020)
- Mosque Community Delighted Islamophobe Spelled ‘Muslims’ Correctly on Wall (01/14/2020)
- Muslim Scientists Clone Hamza Yusuf To Meet Busy Islamic Conference Schedule (01/14/2020)
- To Attract Younger Demographic, Mosque Adds Giant Slide To Minaret (01/14/2020)
- Khateeb Clearly Has to Get Back to Best Buy After This (11/27/2019)
- Man 88% Sure He Still Has His Wudu (02/07/2018)
- Your Uncle Wants Someone To Explain Rules of Football At The Most Tense Time of Game (02/04/2018)
- Area Mosque Confirms Less-Than-Charismatic Imam Free From Scandal (09/28/2017)
- South Asian Mother Brings Up Her ‘Heart/Blood Pressure’ Condition To Win Argument Against Kids (05/14/2017)
- Muslim Man Can’t Discuss Playboy Controversy Without Getting Aroused (09/29/2016)
- Hijabi Playboy Interview Sparks #PornDawah Movement (09/26/2016)
- Phlegm Still Attached to Wudu Area Drain (08/27/2015)
- Man In I’tikaf Asks For Wi-Fi Password (07/15/2015)
- Trivorces Increasing in Arab World (03/20/2015)
- Love Marriages Rise as Traditional Hate Marriages Decline (06/02/2014)
- 10 Steps to Getting a Second Wife (05/20/2014)
- 16 Hour Drive Home Looms Ahead For Rejected Bachelor, Family (10/05/2003)
- Hyderbadi Sunni Muslim Seeks Slim, Fair-Skinned Hyderbadi Wife (01/01/2000)
- Category: Arts
- Saudi Arabia To Participate In Miss Universe By Sending Model’s Male Guardian (04/01/2024)
- Feeling Festive, Mosque Attendees Perform Christmas Ghusuls (12/25/2021)
- Indian Man With Paan-Stained Mouth, Scary Teeth, Wearing A Sherwani Explains To Neighborhood Kids He’s Not Count Dracula (10/31/2020)
- Provocative French Cartoonist Disappointed His Drawing of Prophet Muhammad Resulted in Only One Beheading (10/22/2020)
- Israeli Bulldozer Demolishes ‘Jeopardy!’ Contestant’s Podium After ‘Palestine’ Response (01/14/2020)
- Kanye West Speaks To His Bass (10/19/2018)
- “Sculpt Mohammed” Contest Fails Miserably (06/05/2015)
- Mosque Architect “Really Enjoying” New Trump Sign (06/13/2014)
- Category: Entertainment
- “Don’t Believe Their Lies! I’m Still On The Air…” Says Tucker Carlson Talking Through Cardboard TV Cutout At Area IHOP (04/26/2023)
- Social Media Erupts After Little Mermaid Makes Appearance In Burqa (09/16/2022)
- Report: Zayn Malik Quit One Direction to Join ISIS (03/26/2015)
- Breaking: Muslim Latecomers Struggling to Find Qibla on Red Carpet (02/22/2015)
- Handsome Imam Will Give ‘50 Shades of Grey-Area’ Sermon This Friday (02/13/2015)
- Actor Who Plays Mark Regev Calling It Quits (08/24/2014)
- SNAP Gets Ready For ‘Night of Power’ (07/24/2014)
- Celebrities Appeal for ‘Tweet then Delete’ Movement on Twitter (07/17/2014)
- Fast vs. Food Debuts Second Season (07/07/2014)
- Man Binge Watches DVR Mecca Coverage From Last Ramadan (06/11/2014)
- Man Suspects Jinns Following Him on Twitter (05/13/2014)
- Feature Length “Mipsterz” Movie Disappoints at Box Office (04/21/2014)
- ISNA Unveils Lineup for 2014 ‘Imamapalooza’ (04/14/2014)
- Retiring Imam Selects Jon Stewart as Successor (04/11/2014)
- Muslim Entertainment Goes Unscreened (10/10/2004)
- Crossroads Announces New Fall Lineup (10/10/2004)
- Descrambler Reveals New Muslim Cable Channel (10/05/2003)
- Audience Chuckles At Overused Guest Speaker Humor (10/05/2003)
- For Popular Muslim Boy Band *NSHALLAH, Show Goes On (12/01/2002)
- Area Imam Busted For Lip-Sync Act (01/01/2000)
- Yet Another Hollywood Film Slanders Islam (01/01/2000)
- Islamic “Entertainment” Night Trend Continues (01/01/2000)
- SauDisney Now Open (12/01/1999)
- Category: Food/Health
- Qatar Awards Messi With Country’s Most Prestigious Hand Bidet (12/19/2022)
- Muslim Man Forgets He’s Fasting, Accidentally Eats Entire Ham Sandwich (04/04/2022)
- New Mosque Still Looks Like Old McDonald’s (01/06/2022)
- Halal Steak Had Very Haram Past (12/21/2021)
- Man Activates Emergency Bread Ration Plan as Saalan to Roti Ratio Reaches 10:1 (07/08/2020)
- “NO! NO! NO! YOU NINCOMPOOP!” Fauci Explodes At Trump During Coronavirus Press Conference (04/01/2020)
- 8 Things the United States Government is Doing To Protect the Country Against Coronavirus (04/01/2020)
- Nation Sees Increase in “Quarantined Dad Fart Trauma” (04/01/2020)
- “Time To Embrace Our New Infectious Overlords!” Yells A Visibly Compromised Trump (03/25/2020)
- Intermittent Fasting Regimen Consistent With Man’s Intermittent Islam (10/15/2019)
- Haram Researchers Invent New Way of Sneaking Pork Into Food (05/03/2017)
- Halal Beef Bacon Declared Unfit for Human Consumption (10/28/2015)
- What if Diet Coke Can Technology Fell Into the Wrong Hands? (05/31/2015)
- Study: Scientist Discover Creature Inside Humans That Sucks Pants In Through Butthole During Prayer (04/24/2015)
- Smartwater Downgraded to Dumb Lota (12/19/2014)
- Muslims Indict a Ham Sandwich (12/05/2014)
- Father skeptical of Convert-Son-In-Law’s Halal Turkey (11/27/2014)
- Ice Nihari Challenge Goes Horribly Wrong (08/19/2014)
- Zabihah-Halal Gang Rivalries Flare (08/12/2014)
- That Thing You Bought for Suhoor Still Sitting Untouched (07/16/2014)
- Social Media Braces for Wave of Date Puns (06/26/2014)
- Fat Muslims Dread Coming Ramadan (06/17/2014)
- Alcoholic Muslims Enjoy Final Drinks 40 Days Prior to Ramadan (06/10/2014)
- Halalcohol Introduces ‘TAK Beer’ (04/09/2014)
- Brother Keeps Stroking Newly Grown Beard (12/24/2003)
- New Muslim Tired of Spicy Food Warnings (10/05/2003)
- Man Recalls Times When He Used To Eat Non-Zabiha Meat (10/05/2003)
- 95% Zabiha Halal Not Enough (08/12/2003)
- Man Showers For 23 Hours After Being Licked by Dog (11/30/2002)
- Friends Stumble Upon Lifelong Misunderstanding of Bathroom Procedure (11/30/2002)
- Muslim Boy Drowns During Suhur (01/01/2000)
- Brother Still Believes Marsmallows are Halal (12/01/1999)
- Category: Religion
- Mosque Installs Giant Claw To Extract Worshippers Who Don’t Turn Their Cell Phones Off During Prayer (09/01/2019)
- Saudi Introduces New High Speed Tawaf Train (08/14/2019)
- Friend Refuses to Forgive Man Departing For Hajj (08/30/2016)
- Man Arrested on 437 Counts of Sandal Theft (08/04/2015)
- Ancient Quran Floppy Disks Uncovered (07/24/2015)
- IndoPak Muslims Urge Return to Ramzan, Khuda Hafiz, Slalekum (07/08/2015)
- Imam Claims Shia LaBeouf Plagiarized His Friday Sermon (06/02/2015)
- Moderate Muslim Follows Just the Right Amount of Islam (05/22/2015)
- California Muslims React to Drought, Issue Statewide Tayammum Order (05/19/2015)
- Nearly Half of Islamophobes Are Devout Muslims Practicing ‘Taqiyya’ (02/20/2015)
- After Losing Women Attendees, Mosque Officials Organize ‘Bring Back Our Girls’ Vigil (02/10/2015)
- New Women’s Only Mosque Turns Out to be One Big Sisters Section (02/06/2015)
- Marshawn Lynch Delivers Bizarre Speech at Muslim Friday Prayer (01/30/2015)
- Zombie Janaza Extends Into Third Week (10/31/2014)
- Muslim Arrested For Neglecting Daily Condemnation of Terror, Extremism (10/10/2014)
- Masjid Hacked, Credit Cards Stolen (10/03/2014)
- Labor Day Weekend to be Renamed “Eid ul-Isna” (08/29/2014)
- Study Reveals Prayer Line Straightness Down 15% (07/09/2014)
- New Muslim Wonders When Masjid Will Fix Air Conditioning (07/01/2014)
- Miami Muslims Leave Friday Prayers Early (06/13/2014)
- 10 Shocking, Lesser Known Signs of the Day of Judgement (06/06/2014)
- Search Continues For Masjid Mystery Farter (05/29/2014)
- Convert with Lazy Eye Has Trouble Lowering His Gaze (05/08/2014)
- House Analogy Derails Friday Khutba (04/30/2014)
- Man Unaware He Attends LGBT Mosque (04/25/2014)
- Scam Alert: Authorities Warn ‘Extended Wudu Warranties’ Not Real (04/22/2014)
- “Progressive Muslims” Really Just a Bunch of Hippies, Low-Lives (04/16/2014)
- Community in Panic as Backup Imam Actually Called Upon (10/10/2004)
- “Donation Box Guy” Finally Snaps (10/10/2004)
- CyberImaam.com Issues Controversial New Fatwa (10/10/2004)
- Masjid Conducts Annual Running of the Muslims (12/24/2003)
- World’s Worst Muslim Found (12/04/2003)
- Everyone Falls Asleep at Fajr Discussion (08/12/2003)
- Man Enraged Two-Year Old Girl in Brothers Section (08/12/2003)
- Baby Driver Causes Huge Headaches in Masjid Parking Lot (12/01/2002)
- Speedy Imam Leaves Everyones Head Spinning (11/30/2002)
- Islamic Center Specializes in Misspelled Signs (01/01/2000)
- Category: Ramadan
- Microwave Clock Totally Messing with Fasting Man (07/06/2015)
- RamaDo’s & RamaDon’ts (06/27/2015)
- Dozens Injured as Ramadan Breath Onslaught Continues (06/22/2015)
- Man Begins Day-Long Social Media Fast (06/18/2015)
- Stuttering Hafiz Still Leading Taraweeh (07/28/2014)
- Horrified Man Realizes Devil Not Responsible For His Bad Habits (07/02/2014)
- Devil Not Looking Forward to Annual Trip (06/27/2014)
- Interview: Blind Imam Reappoints Self as Moon Sighting Committee Chair (06/26/2014)
- Eid Prayers Held at Bambi’s (12/24/2003)
- Liberal Muslims Eagerly Flock Back To Sinful Ways (12/04/2003)
- Category: Nation
- Airdropped US-Supplied Aid For Gaza Obliterated By US-Supplied Missile Fired On Gaza (03/03/2024)
- Netanyahu Quietly Asks Elon Musk To Change Gaza’s Wifi Password (11/30/2023)
- Police Bomb Texas Elementary School To Stop Active Shooter, End Up Killing 250 Children (10/29/2023)
- Biden: “We Must Condemn The Evil Forces of Terror, Except When It’s Israeli Sanctioned Genocide. Then It’s Kinda Cool.” (10/10/2023)
- “Hey America, We killed some scary brown guy over there!” (08/03/2022)
- Supreme Court Rules Imam Can Recite Entire Surah Baqara In First Rakah On High School Football Field (06/28/2022)
- Imam Giving Friday Sermon Clearly Has Side Gig As Mall Santa (12/18/2021)
- Trump Supporter Needs a “DADGUM MINUTE” To Morally Decay And Defend President’s Latest Racist Tweet (07/07/2020)
- Department of Justice Drops Criminal Charges Against Michael Flynn After It Suspects He Killed A Black Man (05/08/2020)
- Imam Leaves Live Streaming On After Sermon (04/01/2020)
- Khabib to Senate: “I LIKE BEAR.” (10/10/2018)
- DON’T BE DISTRACTED. The Real Story Here is That There’s a Habib With a Freakin ‘K’ in His Name (10/08/2018)
- President Trump Assures Iftar Guests: Dinner and Waterboarding Will Start After Sunset (06/06/2018)
- New Speedy Gonzales Mosque Will Finish Taraweeh Tonight (05/22/2018)
- NRA Cash Falls From Sky During Paul Ryan’s Response To Mass Shooting (02/17/2018)
- BREAKING: Roy Moore Fondles Latest Exit Poll (12/12/2017)
- White Shooter Trying His Hardest To Be Labeled A Terrorist (10/02/2017)
- Man Offended By Trump’s NFL ‘SOB’ Comment, Curses at Losing Team During Game (09/29/2017)
- NASCAR Vehicle Quietly Kneels During National Anthem (09/27/2017)
- Hurricane Tours Destructive US President (08/29/2017)
- Before Leaving Saudi, Bannon Sprays “Muzlims Go Home!” On Side of Mosque (05/22/2017)
- Sensitive to Local Customs, Trump Lands In Saudi Arabia Wearing a Burqa (05/20/2017)
- Lone Wolf Condemns Latest Terror Attack (04/27/2017)
- Uncle Mercilessly Overusing “Good Friday” Joke (04/14/2017)
- Muslim Satirical Publication Struggles To Get Through This Shit (11/09/2016)
- Moderate Trump Supporters Discovered (11/09/2016)
- CNN Electoral Touch-Screen Spattered With John King’s Fecal Matter (11/08/2016)
- Voting Is Haram, Warns Man Nobody Wants to Hang Out With (11/07/2016)
- Tableeghi Jamaat Picks Terrible Day for Halloween Dawa’ah (10/31/2016)
- Presidential Candidates Get Swirly Thingies in Eyes When Asked About Israel (09/27/2016)
- After Brexit, Trump Demands US Leave EU (06/24/2016)
- MSNBC News Crew Still Smells Like Spices Three Days After Storming Into Pakistani Apartment (12/06/2015)
- FBI Uncovers Muslim Oversleeper Cells (11/17/2015)
- Area Muslim Man Suspected of Being Closeted President of the United States (09/22/2015)
- Ahmed’s Parents Concerned Too Many People Standing Around (09/18/2015)
- American Dental Association Condemns Killing of Cecil The Lion (08/01/2015)
- Eid Prayer Fashion Gala Dazzles Worshippers (07/17/2015)
- Bike Rally Participants Blocked-In Parking Lot by Mosque Latecomers (05/29/2015)
- FBI Concerned About Suspects Al-Qaeda Ties (01/09/2015)
- American Muslims Urge Oklahoma to Secede (09/19/2014)
- West Israel Expands Settlements Into Dearborn (07/19/2014)
- Obama Still Burping Pakoras (07/15/2014)
- Palestinians Deploy Local Football Club to Challenge Ground Invasion (07/13/2014)
- Local Mosque Introduces Twitter Taraweeh (07/12/2014)
- Terrorists Claim Responsibility for Messy Apartment (06/25/2014)
- Burning Bus Forces London Authorities to Reconsider Hussain Arrest (06/05/2014)
- Man Facing Midlife Crisis Buys Red Toyota Camry (05/02/2014)
- Retired Racist Looks Forward to New Career as Islamophobe (04/30/2014)
- Suburban Muslim Family Feels Persecuted (04/29/2014)
- Girl on Skateboard From ‘Mipsterz’ Video Crashes Into Muslims Making ‘Happy’ Video (04/28/2014)
- Muslim Nerds Translate Quran to Klingon (04/08/2014)
- Man Blames Everything on Jews (12/04/2003)
- “Idealistan” Deteriorating Quickly (10/06/2003)
- FBI Arrests Sleepy Man (08/12/2003)
- Redneck Army Vows Revenge (12/01/2002)
- Transvestite Hijabis Find Themselves In Troubled Times (12/01/2002)
- CNN Reports Latest Suspect – “Yo Mama!” (12/01/2002)
- Houston, We Have Convention Center (12/01/2002)
- Category: News Briefs
- IDF Shows Inside Of Alleged Hamas Member’s Home And His “Bomb-Making Leather Sectional” (11/15/2023)
- MBS Assumes His Place As Rightful Heir To British Throne (09/09/2022)
- White House Announces “IFFTAR BASH 2017” (05/27/2017)
- Left Shark Shows Up At Friday Sermon (02/06/2015)
- Santa Just a “10 second Photoshop Job” Away from Becoming Radicalized (12/23/2014)
- Last Minute of Fast Extends Into Third Hour (07/28/2014)
- Man ‘Books’ Without Praying Sunnah (12/24/2003)
- Saddam Allegedly Had Mini-Bar, Gaudy Decorations in Rat Hole (12/24/2003)
- Category: Politics
- Palestinians Keep Getting Dead Somehow (05/15/2018)
- Obama Effortlessly Leads Prayers During Mosque Visit (02/03/2016)
- Muslim Republican Starting to Think This is a Bad Idea (09/21/2015)
- Texas Official Apologies For Humanizing Muslims (08/18/2015)
- Anne Coulter, Ayaan Hirsi Ali Remind World They Hate Muslims, Too (05/15/2015)
- Indiana Changes State Slogan to “April Fools!” (04/01/2015)
- Israel Relieved World Finally Looking Other Way (02/27/2015)
- ‘Radical Islam’ Biggest Threat to World, Claims Complete Idiot (02/13/2015)
- Bobby Jindal Introduces New ‘White Club’ Soap (02/09/2015)
- Report: King Abdullah Converted to Islam on Deathbed (01/23/2015)
- Immigrant Muslims ‘Condom’ Terrorism (01/14/2015)
- Cheney Reaffirms He’s Dick (12/15/2014)
- CAIR Condemns UAE For Condemning CAIR (11/21/2014)
- Obama Prepares For Live Gitmo Prisoner Execution (09/10/2014)
- Jihadist Enraged Over Fantasy Football League Changes (09/04/2014)
- Your Muslim/Jewish/Humanitarian Friend on Facebook Warns of Continued Conflict Posts in Your Newsfeed (08/05/2014)
- CNN Poll: Majority of Americans Side with Israel, Results: 10% With Gaza, 90% Horse Shit (07/28/2014)
- Boko Haram Agrees to Return Girls If This Gets 50k Likes, #BringBackOurGirls Trends (05/07/2014)
- Terrorist MERS Virus Attacks US, Fox News Reports (05/05/2014)
- Military Drone Converts to Islam (04/23/2014)
- Muslims Form New Bloc Vote Organization: ‘Get Backstabbed 2004’ (12/04/2003)
- Critics Question Homeland Security Additions (08/12/2003)
- Khabsistan Adds More Nations To “Worst Insult” List (12/01/1999)
- Category: Science/Technology
- Report: Enough White People Died to Activate Facebook Flag Overlay (03/22/2016)
- Study: Red Wine Still Haram (08/28/2015)
- Mexican Emoji Clearly Becoming More ‘Radicalized’ (01/20/2015)
- Man Who Gets News From Facebook Criticizes Lack of Muslim Condemnation (01/08/2015)
- Al-Qaeda Operative Distances Self From Muslim Happy Video (04/17/2014)
- Area Imam Tweeting Way Too Much (04/14/2014)
- Muslim Doctors Create Frankenhafiz (10/10/2004)
- Muslim Social Networking Website Crawling With Social Outcasts (10/10/2004)
- Chat Addict Convinces Parents She’s Doing Research (10/10/2004)
- Random E-mail Getting Strange (08/12/2003)
- Muslimarriage.com Alleged To Be Modified Shopping Cart (08/12/2003)
- Islamicorp Releases Virtual Jum’ma (11/30/2002)
- Area Sister Receives Miraculous E-mail, Forwards To 1,200 Closest Friends (11/28/2002)
- Category: Sports
- Muslim Cubs Fan Looks Forward to Being Only Sober Person in the Room (11/02/2016)
- Brown Man Accidentally Wins Stare Contest (12/28/2015)
- Determined to Avoid Any More Leg Injuries, Derrick Rose Severs Both Limbs (04/08/2015)
- Chicago Muslims Divided on When to Mourn End of Rose’s Season (02/25/2015)
- Area Youth Thinks He’s Really Great at Basketball (11/30/2002)
- Category: Travel
- Hero Stewardess Thwarts Diet Jihad (05/30/2015)
- Quiet Muslim Woman Secretly Rageaholic on Road (04/18/2014)
- Category: World
- ISIL Challenges Hamas to Dance-Off (07/02/2015)
- Woman Honored by Attempts to Kill Her (06/18/2014)
- Bloodshed, Death Toll Rises as Opposition Forces Battle (04/16/2014)
- Saudi Legalizes Left Hand Marriage (04/09/2014)